they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
