We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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