grandma shit on top of the toilet
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
