it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
