when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
