what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
birth control should be required to get into college
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
