We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
