Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
