everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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