you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
