I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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