I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
