It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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