I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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