i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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