I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
