I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
