Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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