Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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