I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
