So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
where are you?
Hypothermia
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
