went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize