im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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