Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i will never coherently bang her
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
