Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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