I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
