whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
