Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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