There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
