this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
