You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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