theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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