my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
