I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
