Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
