If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
