it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
