I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
