high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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