Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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