I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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