My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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