I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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