You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
