3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Too much gin, very little bucket
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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