he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
