Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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