no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
