I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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