dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
