I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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