I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
