I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
