we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
