My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
