Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
