Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
