tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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