3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
that's an acceptable place to lick
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
