I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
