Buhtt sex?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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