Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
