Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
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Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
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She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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